This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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