Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
