so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
