Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
