Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize