Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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