at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Randomize