I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
