now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
