You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
And then he peed in my hair
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