maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
