You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
