What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
