It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
