I just cut my nipple shaving
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
