okay pat passed out under dana's car
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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