Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
