my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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