Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
