Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
