Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
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