My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
