I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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