So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
