I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
