maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
