New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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