His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize