Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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