loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
