bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
