I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
