More tranny stories later!
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
