For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
