Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
