I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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