She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
how does that bad decision feel?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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