I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
