Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
