I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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