so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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