the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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