do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
barbara walters just said penis...
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
