Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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