I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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