mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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