when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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