Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
