I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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