The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
