what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Randomize
