Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
