So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
