So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
