exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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