I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize