Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
