Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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