no, he came in my armpit
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
