she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
