I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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