I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I could make wine with my vomit
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
