I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
