You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I just want to make out with him forever
I pour the whiskey from now on
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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