Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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