He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
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