so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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