I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize