You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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